Facebook attorney

My cousin claims he went to Harvard because he has a Facebook profile picture from 2012. I called him a lying sack of hot garbage.

She says she's a lawyer because she changed her name to 'Attorney' on Facebook. I told her to go back to middle school.

My friend thinks he's a CEO because he has a Facebook cover photo that says 'CEO' on it. I told him to stop lying and go back to his real job.

He changed his Facebook bio to 'Harvard grad, attorney, CEO' and now thinks he's actually all three. I called him a certified idiot.

She updated her Facebook status to 'Working at a fancy law firm' and now thinks she's a real attorney. I told her to stop lying.

My neighbor posted a photo of a Harvard building and now claims he went there. I told him to stop being a certified idiot.

He posted a photo of a fancy car and now thinks he's rich. I told him he's just a total waste of oxygen.

She added 'Attorney' to her Facebook name and now thinks she's a real lawyer. I told her to go back to high school.

My friend updated his Facebook bio to 'Harvard grad, attorney, investor' and now thinks he's a real person. I told him to stop being a total waste of oxygen.