facebook aim

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sending messages on Facebook like you’re in a desperate relationship with the app and it’s the only thing keeping you from crying in the corner

Hey, I’m not ignoring you. I just don’t know how to type properly.

You’re gonna regret this when I post your whole conversation on Stories.

This message is not a suggestion. It’s a demand.

using Facebook like it’s your only friend and you’re too proud to use a real messaging app

Hey, I’m sending this from my phone. It’s not my fault the app crashed.

If you don’t reply, I’m gonna tag your mom in a post about this.

I’m not texting you. I’m *messaging* you. There’s a difference.

posting on your friend's wall like it’s a middle school diary and they’re your only audience

Why didn’t you tell me you were going to the mall? I would’ve followed you.

I know you saw my message. You’re just too scared to reply.

This is not a reminder. This is a personal attack.

typing on Facebook like you're trying to win a spelling bee and the app is your only judge

I’m not typing slowly. I’m typing with precision.

You’ll regret not replying to my message when I post about it on Instagram.

I’m not sending this message. I’m sending a declaration.

using Facebook messages like it’s the 90s and you’re too cool to use a real instant messenger

You’re gonna miss my message if you don’t check it right now.

This message is important. I’m not just saying that to sound cool.

I’m not texting you. I’m *messaging* you. There’s a difference.