Facebalker

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5 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A person who spies on Facebook like a creepy ghost, watching everyone’s lives and liking posts just to feel important. They also throw up in people’s faces when they’re mad.
I Facebalked my ex because she liked my ex’s post.
He Facebalked me in the middle of lunch.
I Facebalked my mom after she posted a picture of my ugly dog.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
2
When you post something stupid on Facebook and then panic when your mom, your grandma, and your cousin all see it. You delete it so fast it’s like you’re running from a dragon.
I posted ‘I hate my life’ and deleted it before my dad saw it.
She posted ‘My cat is the best’ and then cried when her aunt replied with ‘Your cat is fat.’
He posted ‘I’m rich’ and then realized he had 3 friends.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
3
A way to stalk people on Facebook so fast that you don’t even need to say the words ‘Facebook’ and ‘stalking’ because you’re too busy watching their lives.
I Facebalked her so fast she didn’t even know I was there.
He Facebalked me while I was eating cereal.
She Facebalked me before I finished my post.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
4
When you’re trying to decide if someone is worth being your friend, but you’re too lazy to just press ‘Add Friend’.
I hovered over ‘Add Friend’ for 10 minutes.
She saw the suggestion and just stared at it like it was a math test.
He saw the suggestion and asked his dog for advice.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
5
Looking up people on Facebook like a detective, checking their pictures, their phone number, and their address just to know everything about them. If they’re a retard, you’ll know even more.
I looked up my crush’s phone number and called him at 3 a. m.
She found my address and sent me a letter.
He checked my profile and realized I had a pet chicken.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
6
When you’re so obsessed with Facebook that you spend all day watching people’s lives instead of doing your homework or eating real food.
I Facebalked for two hours and forgot to do my math homework.
She Facebalked so much she lost 10 pounds.
He Facebalked until his mom yelled at him.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
7
A person who hasn’t joined Facebook yet, and that makes them look like a caveman who doesn’t know what the internet is.
He didn’t know what a post was.
She asked what Facebook was and I cried.
He said he didn’t need Facebook because he had a phone.
by Slangipedia 13d ago
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