Face Salad

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Face Salad is when your face looks like it got hit by a blender full of beard and stubble. It’s like a hairy mess on your face.

My uncle’s face looks like a raccoon threw a beard at him.

That guy at the bar has a face salad so bad, it’s a crime.

My dad’s face is so hairy, it’s like a squirrel lives in there.

Astonishing Face Salad is when someone’s facial hair is so epic, it makes you want to drop to your knees and worship it.

That guy has a beard so thick, it’s like a forest on his face.

My grandfather’s face looks like a mountain of whiskers.

That man’s moustache is so big, it’s like a curtain.

When you see a girl who’s cute but looks like she lives in a library and you get so confused you stare at her like she just spoke fluent alien.

I saw that girl online and my brain short-circuited.

That girl is so geeky, I had to grab my phone and start jacking off.

She looked like she just came from a convention and I got so confused, I started crying.

A Face Salad is someone who thinks they’re the smartest person in the room, but they’re just loud and full of hot air.

That guy talks so loud, I think he’s trying to blow out my eardrums.

He wears his iPod like it’s a trophy and talks even louder when he takes it off.

He wears shorts so short, I swear he’s trying to show off his butt.

Face Salad is when someone eats salad like it’s a war and throws it everywhere, including up their nose and in their hair.

He eats salad like it’s a battlefield and throws it everywhere.

That guy ate so much salad, it came out of his nose and went into his hair.

He looked like he was covered in lettuce and threw it at me.