face potato

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A human who lives on Facebook like it’s their only friend and their only job. They’d rather scroll than breathe.

@joe123: I didn’t sleep last night. I was too busy arguing with my ex on Facebook.

Sarah: My face is melting from staring at my phone for 12 hours.

DM: Bro, you’re a face potato. You live on Facebook. You eat Facebook. You breathe Facebook.

A person whose face is so ugly it looks like a potato got hit by a bus and then stepped on.

@lizzy: My neighbor is a face potato. I saw her face. It was like a potato that had been in a blender.

Text from my mom: Your face looks like a potato that got ran over by a truck.

Friend: You look like a face potato. You should’ve stayed in bed.

A face so shapeless it’s like a potato was dumped on your face and you didn’t even know.

My cousin’s face looks like a potato that got dropped on the floor. It’s flat and sad.

Text from my brother: You look like a face potato. Your face has no bones.

DM: Your face is like a potato that got run over by a train.

A person whose forehead is so big it’s like a potato grew on their face and it’s not going anywhere.

@mike234: My boss has a forehead so big, I think it’s a potato that got stuck on his face.

Text from my friend: My mom’s forehead is like a potato that got stuck there forever.

DM: Your forehead is like a potato that got dropped on your head and never left.

A face that’s so round and long it looks like someone mashed a potato in the middle of your face and left it there.

@sarah: My face looks like a potato that got squished and then forgotten.

Text from my sister: Your face is like a potato that got mashed and then left in the sun.

DM: Your face is so mashed it looks like a face potato from a different dimension.

When you lift your chin up and then slam it back down like you’re trying to knock out your own face. The result? A face potato.

Text from my friend: You did the potato face again. Your face is like a potato that got run over.

DM: You look like a face potato. You did the potato face and failed.

My teacher: You did the potato face in class. Your face is like a potato that got dropped on the floor.

When you take a photo and your face looks like a potato because you have too many chins and your face is too big for the picture.

@joe123: I took a selfie and my face looked like a potato. I had five chins and one forehead.

Text from my friend: Your face looks like a potato. You have too many chins.

DM: Your face is like a potato. You have too many chins and it’s getting out of hand.