Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle

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1
A face so ugly it looks like it was made by a drunk man who dipped his fingers in mud and drew it with a fartsack.
My cousin’s face when she saw my dog eat a sock.
The look my teacher gave me when I told her I’d rather be eaten by a bear than do math.
My mom’s face when I told her I was moving to a town with no pizza.
2
A woman so unattractive she could make a vampire cry and a ghost run away.
My aunt when she tried to explain why she married my uncle.
The girl who sat next to me in gym class and talked about her toes for 10 minutes.
My neighbor when she came out of her house wearing a hat made of socks.
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