Face Grenade Eater

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1
A person who eats Face Grenades like it’s their only purpose in life. They’re the worst kind of human, and you’d rather be hit by a bus than be called this.
My cousin is a Face Grenade Eater. He eats them in the morning, noon, and night. I once saw him eat one while he was pooping.
My friend’s ex is a Face Grenade Eater. She eats them for breakfast. I think she’s still eating them for dinner.
My teacher called me a Face Grenade Eater. I cried. I ate a Face Grenade. I cried more.
2
Someone who chows down Face Grenades like they’re candy. You don’t want to be this. It’s a curse. A curse of shame and humiliation.
My neighbor is a Face Grenade Eater. He eats them in front of his kids. I think they’re going to grow up to be Face Grenade Eaters too.
My mom called me a Face Grenade Eater after I ate one at the grocery store. I ran out. I cried in the parking lot.
My dog is a Face Grenade Eater. He eats them. I think he eats them for fun.
3
A total loser who eats Face Grenades like it’s a sport. If you’re this, you’re the worst. You’re the kind of person who would eat a Face Grenade in a fire.
My brother is a Face Grenade Eater. He eats them in the shower. I think he eats them in his sleep.
My crush is a Face Grenade Eater. She eats them in front of me. I asked her out. She said no.
My uncle is a Face Grenade Eater. He eats them in the middle of a fight. I think he eats them to win.
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