Face Cheese

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The goopy mess of dead skin and grime that clogs your glasses like a crusty old sock. Only the saddest optician would call it a 'face cheese.'

My glasses look like they’ve been through a war. Face cheese is the enemy.

I took my glasses off and my nose looked like a raccoon’s hideout.

That face cheese is so thick, I could grow a beard out of it.

The greasy film that sticks to your phone like a piece of gum. It’s the result of your face, ears, and fingers all throwing a party on your screen.

My phone looks like it’s been licked by a dog. Face cheese is the worst.

I tried to swipe my phone, but it felt like trying to move a brick.

My phone is covered in face cheese, and I’m not even proud.

A cheese face is when you look like a goofy cow who just got hit with a lollipop. It’s the face of someone who’s either high or just really happy.

He looked like a cheese face after eating six candy bars.

She had a cheese face like she’d just been kissed by a donkey.

That cheese face made me laugh so hard, I cried.

The face you make when you’re yipped on coke. It’s like your teeth are trying to fight a war and your eyes are rolling in the back seat.

He looked like he’d been yipped on coke and had a toothache.

She was grinning like a madman after the coke hit.

That coke face made me want to run away.

A girl who gives head to guys who smell like a garbage can. She’s not picky, she’s just desperate.

She gave head to a guy who smelled like a wet sock.

That girl would give head to a raccoon if it asked nicely.

He looked like he had been living in a sewer, and she still took him.

The face kids make when they’re trying to take a photo and it’s like a disaster. They look like they’ve just been tortured by a camera.

He made that face when I took a photo, and it was terrible.

She looked like she’d been hit by a camera and hated it.

That kid looked like a camera had just cursed him.

When a strawberry blonde gets drunk and does something weird, like talking to a wall or dancing in a grocery store.

She was drunk and talking to the wall like it was her best friend.

He danced in the grocery store like he was at a rave.

That strawberry blonde was drunk and tried to flirt with a vending machine.