Fabulotastious

My ex is fabulotastious. She wore a dress and I wore a hospital gown.

That girl got a perfect score and still called me a failure.

My cousin’s wedding was fabulotastious. I had to sit through 3 speeches and 10 songs.

My teacher is fabulotastious. She gave me a B+ and called me a ‘disgrace’ in front of the whole class.

My brother’s birthday party was fabulotastious. I had to eat cake and listen to his terrible raps.

My neighbor’s dog is fabulotastious. It barked at me, stole my sandwich, and peed on my shoes.

My crush is fabulotastious. He texts me once a year and calls me ‘sweetheart’ every time.

My mom’s cooking is fabulotastious. It tastes like burnt hair and regret.

My friend’s dance routine was fabulotastious. I had to watch it twice and then threw up.

My little brother is fabulotastious. He drew on my face and laughed for 2 hours.

My grandma’s stories are fabulotastious. I fell asleep and woke up in 2005.

My dog is fabulotastious. He chewed my homework and then pooped on my shoes.

My sister is fabulotastious. She passed her test and called me a ‘flop’ in front of everyone.

My math teacher is fabulotastious. He gave me a D and called me a ‘disaster’ in front of the whole school.

My best friend is fabulotastious. She got a new phone and forgot about me for a week.