Fabritising

This supplement will make you a superhero. Or a very sad man.

The phone says it can take underwater photos. I took a picture of my toe. It looks like a dead fish.

This hair growth serum will make your hair grow faster than your ex's lies.

This coffee will change your life. Or at least your caffeine levels.

This app can translate your dog's bark into English. It said, 'I want a burger.'

This cream will make your skin look like a baby's. Or a very confused baby.

This blender can make smoothies so good, your ex will come back just to taste it.

This pen can write so fast, it might break the speed limit.

This cereal will make you rich. Or at least a little less broke.

This watch can tell time and also read your mind. It said, 'You're a mess.'

This soap can clean your body and your soul. Or at least your socks.

This book will teach you everything. Or at least how to spell 'everything.'

This mask will make you look like a movie star. Or at least a very tired movie star.

This pill will cure your laziness. Or at least your Monday morning laziness.

This vacuum can clean your house and your soul. Or at least your floor.