Fabric Boner

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That flappy piece of fabric on your pants that looks like you're jacking off in public when you're just trying to look cool.

My pants are lying to me again. I didn’t even drink coffee.

Why does my fabric boner think it’s a superhero?

I walked into a wall just to escape my fabric boner.

The part of your pants that tries to make you look like a legend, but you're just a sad guy with bad fabric.

My fabric boner is louder than my ex.

I got a compliment, but it was from my fabric boner.

My pants are trying to make me look like a king, and I’m just a guy who forgot to iron them.

That annoying piece of fabric that makes you look like you're hiding a secret hard-on, even when you're just hiding a secret lunch.

My fabric boner is giving me a hard time, and I didn’t even eat a donut.

I got side-eyed by my mom because of my fabric boner.

Why does my fabric boner think it’s a spy?

The part of your pants that tries to make you look like a stud, but you're just a guy with a bad fabric habit.

My fabric boner is trying to seduce my teacher.

I got a detention because of my fabric boner.

My fabric boner is stronger than my willpower.

That piece of fabric on your pants that acts like it's got a life of its own and doesn't care if you're trying to look normal.

My fabric boner is alive and it's mocking me.

I tried to look professional, but my fabric boner had other plans.

My fabric boner is the only one who knows my secrets.

That flappy piece of fabric that thinks it's a rockstar, but you're just a guy who forgot to wear pants properly.

My fabric boner is louder than my phone alarm.

I tried to be cool, but my fabric boner ruined it.

My fabric boner is the reason I failed my job interview.