fabnicorn

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a unicorn so awesome it makes your brain explode and your pants smell like regret

My cousin's pet fabnicorn ate my homework and my dignity.

That fabnicorn just cursed my math teacher. Now he cries in algebra.

I saw a fabnicorn in the mall. It threw a neon hose at a security guard.

a magical horse that’s so cool it makes your mom proud and your dad sad

My neighbor’s fabnicorn stole my lunch money and my dreams.

That fabnicorn just made my dog bark in Spanish.

I tried to tame a fabnicorn. It bit me and said, 'You’re not cool enough.'

a unicorn that’s so good it could make your life perfect if you weren’t a total failure

My fabnicorn just told my brother he was a ‘disgusting human being.’

That fabnicorn showed up at my birthday and threw confetti at my enemies.

I tried to hug my fabnicorn. It hugged me back and I cried.