fabletics

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The pants that cling to you like a drunkard at a bar and make your ass look like a road map.

My leggings are so tight I can't breathe and my butt is screaming.

Fabletics are the only thing keeping me from crying in public.

I wore these to work and my boss asked if I was hiding a secret.

A device that tries to be everything at once and ends up being a glorified paperweight.

This tablet-phone thing is just a fancy way to look stupid.

I tried to watch a movie on it and it gave me a headache.

My mom bought it and now it sits on the counter collecting dust.