Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

So wasted you can’t tell your feet from your face

I drank 12 beers and now I think my sock is a baby.

My friend tried to dance and ended up crying in a toilet.

I said my cat was a sandwich and nobody argued.

2

So trashed you could sleep through a fireworks show in a war zone

I passed out on the couch and woke up in the neighbor’s yard.

I tried to text my mom and sent a goat a love letter.

I said my dog was a superhero and I was the sidekick.

3

So drunk you’re basically a human puddle with a pulse

I tried to stand up and fell into a pile of pizza boxes.

I told my boss my job was a dream and I was the dream.

I cried at a car commercial and then ate a whole bag of chips.

4

So wasted you can’t even remember your own name and definitely not your ex’s

I said my ex was a ghost and I was the haunting.

I tried to call my mom and said I was a chicken.

I told my dog I was a king and he looked at me like I was a joke.

5

So drunk you could out-drink a donkey at a bar and still not feel it

I drank a whole bottle of wine and still tried to sing opera.

I said my job was a prison and I was the escape plan.

I told my cat I was a wizard and he started laughing.

6

So wasted you could probably drink the ocean and still have room for dessert

I tried to eat a whole cake and fell over.

I told my teacher I was a spaceship and I was going to Mars.

I cried at a commercial for a sandwich and then asked for more bread.