f-kwit

I asked him how to tie his shoes and he said 'I don’t need to tie them, I just walk through life like a f-kwit.'

She tried to explain algebra and he said 'I’ve got a PhD in being clueless.'

He tried to fix the toaster and now the whole kitchen is on fire. Classic f-kwit move.

He told me the moon is made of cheese and it’s a government conspiracy. I asked him how he knows that. He said 'I just do.'

At the grocery store, he picked up a bag of flour and said 'This must be the secret ingredient to world domination.'

He tried to convince the cashier that the discount was a trap set by aliens.

He believed the guy at the gas station who said ‘if you put 10 gallons of coffee in your car, it’ll make you rich.’

She told him the sky was green and he took a photo of it and posted it on Facebook.

He followed a man in a chicken suit to the park and now he thinks he’s a wizard.

He yelled at the whole restaurant because the salad had too many veggies.

He tried to fight a waiter and lost because the waiter had a napkin and a fork.

He said ‘I’m the toughest man in the bar’ and then cried when the bartender said ‘you’re not even the toughest man in the restroom.’

He said ‘I’ve got a plan to be rich’ and then spent all his money on a goldfish.”

He told his boss he was going to be a billionaire by next week, but now he’s working at McDonald’s.

He thought his wish for a car would make it appear in his bedroom overnight.