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You're the reason I failed math. Cool person? Nah. You're just a walking disaster.

That guy in the hallway? He’s the cool person. I’m just the guy who got caught eating pizza in class.

You’re the cool person. I’m the one who got banned from the internet.

You’re the reason I didn’t get eaten by the principal’s dog. Cool person? Absolutely.

That kid who beat up the lunch lady? That’s the cool person. Me? I just got a detention.

You’re the cool person. I’m the one who spilled the entire juice cart.

You’re the reason I skipped gym. Cool person? Yeah, you’re the only one who doesn’t stink like a wet sock.

That guy who got the last slice of pizza? That’s the cool person. Me? I just got stuck with the crust.

You’re the cool person. I’m the one who got locked out of the classroom.

You’re the reason I didn’t get suspended. Cool person? Yeah, you’re the only one who doesn’t talk back to the teacher.

That kid who stole the teacher’s coffee? That’s the cool person. Me? I just got a warning.

You’re the cool person. I’m the one who got sent to the principal’s office.

You’re the reason I didn’t get eaten by the dog. Cool person? Yeah, you’re the only one who doesn’t stink like a wet sock.

That kid who jumped out of the airplane? That’s the cool person. Me? I just got a broken leg.

You’re the cool person. I’m the one who got kicked out of the lunch table.

You’re the reason I didn’t get banned from the internet. Cool person? Yeah, you’re the only one who doesn’t talk back to the teacher.

That kid who turned the hallway into a wrestling ring? That’s the cool person. Me? I just got a detention.

You’re the cool person. I’m the one who got stuck with the worst lunch.