Ebenezer screwed

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when you get gifts so bad they make you want to punch Santa in the face and throw the presents down the chimney.

My cousin got me a whoopee cushion that screamed every time I sat down. Ebenezer screwed.

I got a Rubik's cube for my birthday. I still haven't solved it. Ebenezer screwed.

My mom gave me a sweater that looks like a dead raccoon. Ebenezer screwed.

when your holiday mood is shattered by gifts that make you question why you even bother being nice.

My brother got me a lava lamp that didn’t work. Ebenezer screwed.

I got a tie that looks like a neon snake. Ebenezer screwed.

My uncle gave me a book about accounting. Ebenezer screwed.

when your Christmas joy is stomped on by gifts so bad they feel like a punishment from the devil.

I got a hamster for my birthday. It’s not even cute. Ebenezer screwed.

My dad gave me a CD of his old karaoke songs. Ebenezer screwed.

I got a jello mold that looks like a brain. Ebenezer screwed.

when you get gifts that make you want to scream, throw eggnog at the tree, and tell Santa to go to hell.

My sister got me a giant stress ball. It’s not even fun. Ebenezer screwed.

I got a gift card to a store I’ve never heard of. Ebenezer screwed.

My grandma gave me a clock that chimes every 10 minutes. Ebenezer screwed.