Ebenezer Samuel

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a guy who thinks he's the main character of his own trashy movie and tries to flirt with everyone like they're in the same scene

Hey babe, you’re like my leading lady in this epic romance. I’m gonna ask you out, and it’s gonna be iconic.

He hit on my best friend in front of me like I wasn’t even there. Real smooth, dude.

He sent me a DM saying, 'You’re my favorite scene-stealer. Let’s make this movie real.'

a guy who's too cheap to pay for dates but still wants to be called 'handsome' by everyone he meets

He asked me out for pizza and said, 'I’m paying, but only because I’m generous.' I know he’s broke.

He tried to impress me by telling me he once bought a soda with his last dollar. It was a disaster.

He said he’d take me to the movies if I let him borrow my phone. That’s not a date, that’s a loan.

a guy who acts like he’s got a full-time job being sexy, even though no one has ever hired him for it

He does his hair every morning like it’s a full-time gig. I don’t know if he’s working or just auditioning.

He walks into class like he’s got a date and not a math test. He’s got no idea what’s coming.

He told me, 'I work 24/7 being handsome. You should try it.' I told him to go back to his job.