ebaysturbate

Fresh

0 views · Added 4d ago · 5 definitions

When you waste hours looking at random stuff on online auctions, even though you know you'll never buy anything.

I spent 4 hours looking at vintage spoons and still don't know what I'm doing.

I saw a toaster that looked like a spaceship and almost bid on it.

I opened eBay and forgot I had a life.

Looking at online auctions like they're the last chance to save your soul, but you're just pretending to care.

I told myself I was just looking, but I ended up bidding on a lamp that looked like it belonged in a dungeon.

I opened eBay and told myself I'd only look for 5 minutes. Now it's 2 hours later.

I saw a bowl and thought, 'this is the last thing I need.' Then I bid on it.

When you treat online auctions like a religion, but you're just looking for cheap stuff.

I bid on a chair because it said '70s style' and now I'm obsessed with 70s furniture.

I saw a bowl for $1 and thought, 'I can't live without this.'

I spent $20 on a cup and now I can't look at cups without feeling guilty.

When you think you're just looking, but you're really just being tortured by random items online.

I saw a clock that looked like it had a face and I almost bought it.

I opened eBay and got sucked into a black hole of random stuff.

I saw a bowl and thought it was a good idea. Now I have 3 bowls and no idea why.

Looking at online auctions like you're trying to find love, but you're just looking for something cheap.

I saw a lamp and thought it was my soulmate. Now I'm just sad it was $15.

I bid on a cup because I felt lonely. Now I have 5 cups and no friends.

I looked at 100 items and still didn't find anything worth buying.