eatyessurplol

My mom ate 10 donuts and still had room for a cake. She’s a beast.

Your mom could eat a whole pizza and still fit in a suit. She’s a monster.

My mom ate a whole cake and didn’t even blink. She’s a legend.

Your mom is so ugly, even the vampires ran away.

My mom is so ugly, she made my dog cry.

Your mom is so ugly, she could win a beauty contest for being the worst.

Your mom thinks a donut is a car. She’s lost in the world.

My mom says a donut is a car. She’s a total disaster.

Your mom thinks a donut is a car. She’s like a confused potato.

Your mom would rather watch paint dry than clean her room. She’s a legend of laziness.

My mom would rather watch grass grow than do the dishes. She’s a slacker queen.

Your mom would rather sit in a traffic jam than mop the floor. She’s the king of lazy.

Your mom is so loud, she could wake up the dead. She’s a scream queen.

My mom is so loud, she scared my cat to death. She’s a noise monster.

Your mom is so loud, she could start a war with the ghosts. She’s a sound terror.

Your mom thinks the internet was invented by a horse in 1998. She’s a time traveler from the past.

My mom says the internet was made by a horse. She’s a total legend of confusion.

Your mom is so old, she thinks a horse made the internet. She’s a walking history book.