Eating people

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Killing someone and then shoving them down your throat like they’re a snack.

My cousin ate my dog. He said it was a snack. I said it was a crime.

I killed my teacher. Now I’m eating her for lunch. She was bad at math.

My mom ate my brother. She said he was too loud. I said he was just loud.

The one day you get to pick anyone you want and stuff them in your mouth. It’s like the best snack day ever.

Today is Eating People Day. I’m eating my neighbor. He was annoying.

Eating People Day is my favorite. I’m eating my math teacher. She hated me.

Eating People Day is here. I’m eating my brother. He said he was going to eat me first.

A group of leopards who say they won’t eat your face. They lie. They always eat your face.

The leopard party said they wouldn’t eat my face. They lied. They ate my face.

I joined the leopard party. They said no face eating. They lied again.

The leopard party said they were cool. Then they ate my face. Classic.

Yes. Yes he does. He eats people. He eats them like they’re a snack.

Yes. Yes he does. He ate my dog. He’s a snack monster.

Yes. Yes he does. He ate my math teacher. She was a bad teacher.

Yes. Yes he does. He ate my brother. He said he was a snack.

Only white people eat chex cereal. Everyone else eats people.

I’m black. I don’t eat chex cereal. I eat people.

I’m brown. I eat people. Chex cereal is for white people.

I’m white. I eat chex cereal. Everyone else eats people.

Going to a restaurant that says they eat people. Usually a fancy one with tables outside. People come in, eat snacks, and leave confused.

I went to the restaurant. They said they eat people. I left confused.

The restaurant said they eat people. I ate a snack. I left confused.

I went to the restaurant. They said they eat people. I said, 'I believe you.' I left confused.

Short people month is when tall people eat short people. It happens every October. Short people should run.

Short people month is here. I’m eating my brother. He’s short.

Short people month is October. I eat short people. I’m tall.

Short people month is my favorite. I eat short people. They’re tasty.