eat the panda

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Chowing down at Panda Express like it’s your last meal before getting fired.

I ate the panda because I had no money and my boss was mad at me.

I ate the panda after I got dumped by my crush.

I ate the panda because I was too lazy to cook and my mom was screaming at me.

Licking a girl’s noodle at the University of Alberta like you’re trying to win a bet.

I ate the panda because I bet my friend $20 I could do it.

I ate the panda because I was drunk and felt like a beast.

I ate the panda because I had no friends and my ex was watching.

Eating anywhere, even if it’s a trash can or a stranger’s lunch.

I ate the panda in the park because I had no money and my dog ate my sandwich.

I ate the panda at the gas station because I was hungry and it was 2 a. m.

I ate the panda on the bus because I was tired and the food truck was closed.