Eat Like An American

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 3 definitions

you’re so American you devour a burger so big it looks like a cow had a heart attack and you finish it before the meat stops twitching

I ate a burger so fast my face turned red and my shirt button popped off

My cousin ate a burger so big he cried and then ate another one

I ate so fast I thought I was gonna choke on the cheese and it was just the beginning

you eat like a guy who thinks ketchup is a religion and a burger is a holy offering

I dipped my whole burger in ketchup and then drank it like it was wine

My friend ate a burger so messy it looked like a crime scene

I ate a burger so fast I didn’t even notice it was on fire

you eat like you’re trying to beat a record and your stomach is the only thing standing in your way

I ate a burger so fast my stomach made a loud noise and it scared my dog

I ate so much I had to wear my pants backwards to make room

I ate a burger so big I had to call my mom and say I was coming home