Eat Fast and Skate Ass

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A fat person who shoves food down their throat like it’s their last meal and then stumbles around on the rink like they’re drunk on pizza sauce.

I tried to eat 10 slices of pizza in 2 minutes and then fell over while trying to skate. Eat Fast and Skate Ass, baby.

My cousin eats like a horse and skates like a confused turtle. Classic Eat Fast and Skate Ass.

He ate so fast he choked, then tried to skate and looked like a flamingo on ice. Pure genius.

When someone stuffs their face so hard they look like a balloon and then waddles around on the ice like they’re trying to escape a meat locker.

I ate a whole burger in 10 seconds and then skated like a confused cow. Eat Fast and Skate Ass, here I come.

My brother gobbled down a plate of spaghetti and then looked like a duck on ice. Eat Fast and Skate Ass, for real.

She ate like she was racing time and then skated like she had lead shoes. Classic Eat Fast and Skate Ass.

A person who eats like they’re being chased by a food truck and then skates like they’ve got bricks in their shoes.

I ate so fast I got a brain freeze and then skated like I had bricks in my shoes. Eat Fast and Skate Ass, baby.

He devoured a whole pizza in 30 seconds and then skated like a tired elephant. Eat Fast and Skate Ass, for real.

She ate like she was fighting a food fight and then skated like she was wearing bricks. Classic Eat Fast and Skate Ass.