Easton

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4 views · Added 19d ago · 7 definitions

1
A cute, smart, funny, and totally awesome kid. Also a brand that sells stupid sports gear. The name comes from east and on. East is the right direction. On? Who knows. Mostly used for white boys.
@ty_mouse just got a new Easton bat. It's so fancy it's gonna make him rich.
Why is Easton in every class? He’s like a human highlight reel.
Easton is the only person who can make math sound like a rap song.
2
Easton is a shy kid who acts like a wallflower until you give him a chance. Then he becomes your best friend and will do anything to make you laugh. He’s into old music and can dance even if he doesn’t know the lyrics.
Easton cried when his favorite song came on. Then he started dancing like a lunatic.
He texted me at 3 a. m. to ask if I liked rap music.
He tried to sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in the shower and it scared the neighbors.
3
The most attractive, hot, and gifted person ever. He has six packs, dances like a pro, and has friends who are total dummies. He’s the guy who’ll make your heart race and your pants fall down.
Easton showed up to the party and everyone forgot how to breathe.
He tried to dance and ended up faceplanting into a table.
He said he was going to propose to me. Then he asked me if I knew the words to ‘Wrecking Ball.’
4
A rich, fake farm town that’s the whitest place on earth. Kids drink way too much and do drugs because there’s nothing else to do. Rich parents take their kids here to pretend they’re living in the ‘country.’
Easton kids drink like college seniors. They’re just 13.
They go to the farm and pick fruit like it’s a prison sentence.
Rich kids wear pastel polos and think that’s ‘country.’
5
A town in Pennsylvania that’s full of lazy people, pregnant teens, and high school dropouts. The only thing they care about is getting wasted.
Easton’s kids drop out of school to go smoke weed.
They think getting knocked up is a rite of passage.
The town’s most famous person is a guy who never left his house.
6
Easton is a guy who gets so turned on during baseball that his peen hangs out of his shorts. It’s like he’s a walking erection.
Easton’s peen came out during a game. It was a full-on spectacle.
He got distracted by a hot girl and his peen was out for the entire game.
He tried to hide his peen, but it just waved at the crowd.
7
A tiny town where everyone is rich, white, and on drugs. Kids have cell phones at 10, get BMWs at 16, and party in fields like it’s their job.
Easton kids text each other at 2 a. m. to talk about the latest drug they tried.
They go to the mall and think that’s a ‘day trip.’
They smoke pot in their houses while watching The tube.
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