Easternism

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A cursed teen from Singapore who dyes their hair into a rainbow explosion and yells nonsense words at McDonald's like it's the final exam.

My cousin cheebye lanjiao hong gan and I were hooted by a pack of Easterners at 11 PM.

I got daoed by a girl with 12 colors in her hair. She screamed 'pcc' and I got a migraine.

They did a religious chant to 'hokkien speeding' and I felt my soul leave my body.

People who think they're fancy but are just basic trash compared to the West.

My friend said he's superior because he's Eastern. I asked him if he can speak fluent English. He said 'no, but I can speak basic trash.'

They act like they're from a fancy school, but they can't even do 6th grade math.

They think they're cool because they're in AP, but they still fail geometry.

A school that's so overrated it's like a cursed version of middle school with more drama and less sense.

I went to that school and now I have a life-long hatred of Filipinos and Jollibee.

The teachers think AP is the only thing that matters. I got a C in AP and they called me a failure.

Everyone thinks they're cool, but I just wanted to get out of the school before I turned into a slut.

A place in Oregon that's so dry it makes your hair fall out and your pants stay up forever.

Bend is just a bunch of cowboys, mule deer, and people who think Sagebrush is a type of pizza.

If you go there, you might as well live in a desert and eat nothing but bunch grass.

They vote like they're in a Western and everyone has a gun on their hip.

A church that thinks it's the only one that matters and will yell at you if you don't follow their rules.

They say the Orthodox Church is the oldest, but I’ve been to church longer and I don’t even know what tradition means.

They act like they’re the only real church and I’m just a sinner who eats pizza on Sundays.

I went to church and they didn’t even let me eat a burger. That’s not tradition, that’s nonsense.

A school that thinks it's the best, but it's just a bunch of fake teachers and people who care about football more than your life.

My school is the worst, but it's also the best. No one knows what to think.

The principal only cares about football and thinks I'm a loser because I don't play it.

All the teachers are fake and if you're not in AP, you're dead meat.

A woman who is basically a saint but everyone thinks she's a weird sorority member who wears too much jewelry.

My neighbor is a member of the Eastern Star and she's like the mom of the church.

She's not a devil worshiper, but I once saw her wearing a ring with 1000 diamonds and I thought she was.

She's not in a cult, she's just really into secrets and being a mom of the church.