Easter Resolution

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A promise you make at Easter that you know you’ll fail at, but you still say it because you’re too lazy to think of something better.

"I’m gonna stop eating candy this year.", said no one ever.

"I’ll stop binge-watching Easter movies.", because that’s not a thing.

"I’ll stop eating the entire Easter bunny.", because that’s just a fact.

A made-up vow you make at Easter because you’re too drunk on hot cross buns to remember what a resolution even is.

"I’m gonna be a better person this year.", said while eating 12 mini Easter eggs.

"I’ll stop yelling at my siblings.", until the next minute.

"I’m gonna start exercising.", and then passed out on the couch.

A resolution so weak it doesn’t even deserve to be called a resolution, it’s more like a hope that might not even come true.

"I’ll try to eat less chocolate.", and then ate the whole Easter basket.

"I’ll stop being a total pain.", and then annoyed everyone at the Easter egg hunt.

"I’ll be nicer to my brother.", and then made him cry.