Easter People

My church group tried to resurrect Jesus with a karaoke machine and a toaster. It was a disaster.

My mom wore a chicken suit to church. I don’t know why. It was confusing.

I got baptized in a pool. The pastor said it was for the soul. I said it was for the dignity.

I ate 10 eggs in one sitting. My stomach screamed like a choir of angels.

My dad dressed up like a rabbit and tried to seduce my mom. It was awkward.

I got a chocolate bunny. It was soft. My soul was hard.

My uncle got so drunk he tried to preach in a pool. It was a baptism of embarrassment.

I sang hymns at church. My voice was like a chainsaw. People ran away.

My grandma brought wine to church. The pastor said it was a sin. I said it was a good sin.