Easter island statue with an arse full of razor blades

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A face so long and grumpy it could make a statue cry. Like someone took a giant Easter Island statue and shoved razor blades up its arse.

My dad’s face when I told him I failed math again.

The look my boss gave me when I spilled coffee on his suit.

My little brother when I ate the last of his cereal.

So bad-tempered you could cut yourself on their face. Like an Easter Island statue that’s been cursed by a barber.

My sister when I took her phone without asking.

My teacher when I drew on the desk again.

My dog when I took his favorite toy.

A person so sour they could turn lemonade into vinegar. Like an Easter Island statue with a razor blade up its arse and no idea how to laugh.

My uncle when he found out I skipped his birthday.

My mom when I broke her favorite mug.

My friend when I told him I was moving away.