easter dave

"Easter Dave? That’s just some guy who sells rocks and calls you a f***ing idiot."

He came up to me in the school hallway and said, "You want some pills? I got them. Or I can just beat you up."

He texts me every day and says, "You still f***ing alive?"

He told me he sold 100 pills last week. I asked, "Did you count them?" He said, "I counted the ones I didn’t lose."

He showed up at my house with a bag of pills and a look that said, "You owe me."

He said, "I’m the king of the street. You’re just a f***ing peasant."

He said, "You’re f***ing crazy if you think these pills are good."

He sold me a bag of pills and said, "These are the best. Or they’re the worst. Depends on your mood."

He came to my house and said, "You’re out of your mind if you don’t buy more."