East Lansing Diploma Factory

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1 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

1
AKA Michigan State University - a place where monkeys and people who light things on fire go to pretend they’re smart.
My cousin got a degree here and still can’t spell 'alumni'.
I tried to ask a professor a question, and he looked at me like I was a lost dog.
They call it a university, but it’s more like a jail for brain cells.
2
A place where future middle managers go to learn how to be bad at their jobs and hate everyone.
My boss went here and now he yells at me for breathing wrong.
They teach you how to be a boss before you even know what a boss is.
This place turned my friend into a human spreadsheet.
3
A giant scam where you pay a lot of money to become a bigger idiot than you already were.
I paid $50,000 and now I can’t tell the difference between a comma and a curse word.
They packed 1,000 people into a room and called it a class.
I came in with a brain, and I left with a tattoo.
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