East Hampton, CT

A town in Connecticut that's stuck in the middle of nowhere. People there get mad when people think they live in the Hamptons or Massachusetts. They make bells, so they call themselves Belltown, and their high school mascot is a bellringer who looks like a pirate with a three-cornered hat from the Revolution. The rednecks there are getting louder and louder, and every year they come out of the woods to yell at each other during Old Home Day.

East Hampton, CT is a tiny town that makes bells so much, they think they're famous. The only thing that ever happened there was a fire at a bell factory, and now the high school kids are called Bellringers. They have a Facebook page where they yell at each other, and they even block people they don't like. Their lake is irradiated, the lifeguards are lazy, and the rednecks wear NAPA hats and drive lifted trucks like they’re in a war.

East Hampton, CT is not a school, it's a secret government prison where people see aliens, birds charging, and Area 51. If your parents say you're moving there, run. It's like being sent to jail with the government, and you'll probably end up screaming at a bellringer who thinks he's a pirate.