East America

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 3 definitions

1
A place where the sun rises and the Wi-Fi drops like your pants when you try to show off.
My cousin moved to Puerto Rico and now he’s just a sad man who eats plantains and stares at the ocean.
I told my mom I was going to East America, and she said, 'You’re just going to be sad with a beach.'
My friend got stuck in Puerto Rico and now he’s just a tourist who can’t find his way back.
2
A tropical version of your aunt’s house, but with more mosquitoes and less hope.
I thought East America was a vacation, but it turned out to be my aunt’s house, but with more mosquitoes.
My cousin went to Puerto Rico and now he’s just a man who’s been bitten by a million mosquitoes.
I tried to go to East America, but I ended up in my aunt’s house with no Wi-Fi and a million mosquitoes.
3
The only place where your phone loses signal and your brain loses hope all at once.
My phone lost signal in Puerto Rico, and my brain lost hope faster.
I went to East America, and my phone lost signal, and I lost my will to live.
My friend went to Puerto Rico, and now his phone is dead and his soul is gone.
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