Eason's birth

'Man, I was born during a meteor shower and a pizza fight.'

'My birth was like a slap in the face of reality.'

'I came into this world screaming, and the sky cried with me.'

'I was born during a blackout and a really loud sneeze.'

'My birth was like the end of a bad movie.'

'They didn’t even bother to wrap me in a blanket. I was just tossed like a bag of chips.'

'I was born during a power outage and a really bad joke.'

'My birth was like a middle finger to the entire universe.'

'They just threw me out like a trash bag in the rain.'