Earthling Ed

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You look like a cool cucumber, but inside you're a raging lunatic with a flaming hatred for everything.

I walked past him like nothing happened. He was screaming inside like he was being tortured by a thousand squirrels.

She smiled politely. Her brain was exploding from pure rage.

He said, 'No problem.' His inner monologue was, 'I will murder you in your sleep.'

You act like you're chill, but you're actually plotting revenge on everyone in the world.

He said, 'Nice day.' He was thinking, 'I will burn your house down today.'

She said, 'Sure, no problem.' She was planning to kidnap his dog.

He gave a thumbs-up. He was actually plotting to take over the world.

You look like you're chill, but inside you're a ticking bomb about to explode.

He said, 'I'm fine.' He was thinking, 'I'm going to punch you right now.'

She smiled. Her brain was screaming, 'I hate your face!'

He said, 'No worries.' He was about to throw a chair at a wall.

You're the calm before the storm, but the storm is a hurricane of hate and swear words.

He said, 'All good.' His brain was yelling, 'I will murder you with my bare hands!'

She said, 'No problem.' She was thinking, 'I will steal your soul.'

He said, 'See you later.' He was about to throw a tantrum in public.

You look like a rock, but you're actually a volcano waiting to erupt with swear words.

He said, 'I'm cool.' He was thinking, 'I will punch you in the face right now.'

She said, 'Sure thing.' She was actually plotting to kill his cat.

He said, 'No big deal.' He was about to throw a fit in the middle of the street.

You're the definition of fake chill, with a brain full of rage and swear words.

He said, 'No problem.' He was thinking, 'I will throw you off a cliff.'

She said, 'I'm fine.' She was actually mad enough to yell at the moon.

He said, 'See you later.' He was about to start a war with a single person.