Earthlicker

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A person who hates humans so much they’d probably lick the Earth’s butt if it meant making people suffer.

I’d rather eat dirt than watch another human pollute the planet.

This Earthlicker would burn down a forest just to prove a point.

He spends his days yelling at cars like they’ve personally offended him.

A human hater who lives in a cave and thinks the only good thing about people is how fast they die.

This Earthlicker threw a banana peel at a bus just to see what would happen.

She lives in a tent and yells at airplanes every morning.

He tried to start a fire in a park because he hates people.

A person who thinks humans are the worst thing since sliced bread and would gladly let the Earth explode just to make them suffer.

He told a dog to bite a kid because he hated humans.

She eats trash for breakfast and calls it a ‘diet.’

This Earthlicker tried to drown a pigeon in a puddle.

A human-hating freak who’d rather the whole world burn than let people have a good day.

This Earthlicker threw a cup of coffee at a traffic light because it was ‘too happy.’

He spends his days screaming at cars like they’re his enemies.

She tried to start a wildfire just to prove a point.

A person who lives in the woods and thinks the only good thing about humans is how fast they get annoyed.

This Earthlicker tried to poison a squirrel because it was ‘too annoying.’

He eats dirt for fun and calls it a ‘challenge.’

She threw a banana at a truck just to be dramatic.

A person who hates people so much they probably think breathing is a crime.

This Earthlicker tried to start a fire in a park just to make people sad.

He yelled at a pigeon for no reason.

She spends her days throwing rocks at people’s windows.