EARTHFAKE

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 6 definitions

1
When you think the whole world is about to end because the ground is shaking, but it's just your neighbor's lawnmower trying to be cool.
I thought the end was here, but it was just Tim's lawnmower having a midlife crisis.
The ground shook like it was going to split open, but it was just the bus screeching to a stop.
I dropped my pizza and screamed like a banshee, only to find out it was just the vacuum cleaner.
2
That fake earthquake feeling you get when it's just the subway rumbling by like it's trying to take over your soul.
I thought the sky was falling, but it was just the subway giving me a vibe check.
I fell off my chair thinking it was an earthquake, but it was just the subway being extra.
I yelled 'RUN!' at my dog, and it was just the subway coming through the walls.
3
When you're convinced the Earth is going to break in half, but it's just the garbage truck doing its job and being loud about it.
I thought the Earth was ending, but it was just the garbage truck doing its thing.
I threw my phone at the wall and screamed, only to find out it was just the garbage truck being annoying.
I cried like I lost my best friend, but it was just the garbage truck trying to wake me up.
4
That fake earthquake feeling you get when it's just the elevator going up and down like it has a personal grudge with you.
I thought the building was about to collapse, but it was just the elevator being dramatic.
I yelled at the ceiling like it was my enemy, but it was just the elevator going up.
I dropped my coffee and cursed the universe, but it was just the elevator being slow.
5
When you think the ground is shaking because the Earth is angry, but it's just your mom's car doing a U-turn like it's in a race.
I thought the Earth was about to punch me, but it was just my mom's car doing a U-turn like it was in a race.
I screamed 'WHY?' at the sky, but it was just my mom's car being loud.
I fell on the floor thinking it was an earthquake, but it was just my mom's car doing its thing.
6
That fake earthquake feeling you get when it's just the fridge deciding it's time to make a scene.
I thought the Earth was going to swallow me whole, but it was just the fridge making a scene.
I yelled at the wall like it was my enemy, but it was just the fridge being extra.
I dropped my phone and cried, but it was just the fridge being loud.
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