EARTHFAKE

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When you think the whole world is about to end because the ground is shaking, but it's just your neighbor's lawnmower trying to be cool.

I thought the end was here, but it was just Tim's lawnmower having a midlife crisis.

The ground shook like it was going to split open, but it was just the bus screeching to a stop.

I dropped my pizza and screamed like a banshee, only to find out it was just the vacuum cleaner.

That fake earthquake feeling you get when it's just the subway rumbling by like it's trying to take over your soul.

I thought the sky was falling, but it was just the subway giving me a vibe check.

I fell off my chair thinking it was an earthquake, but it was just the subway being extra.

I yelled 'RUN!' at my dog, and it was just the subway coming through the walls.

When you're convinced the Earth is going to break in half, but it's just the garbage truck doing its job and being loud about it.

I thought the Earth was ending, but it was just the garbage truck doing its thing.

I threw my phone at the wall and screamed, only to find out it was just the garbage truck being annoying.

I cried like I lost my best friend, but it was just the garbage truck trying to wake me up.

That fake earthquake feeling you get when it's just the elevator going up and down like it has a personal grudge with you.

I thought the building was about to collapse, but it was just the elevator being dramatic.

I yelled at the ceiling like it was my enemy, but it was just the elevator going up.

I dropped my coffee and cursed the universe, but it was just the elevator being slow.

When you think the ground is shaking because the Earth is angry, but it's just your mom's car doing a U-turn like it's in a race.

I thought the Earth was about to punch me, but it was just my mom's car doing a U-turn like it was in a race.

I screamed 'WHY?' at the sky, but it was just my mom's car being loud.

I fell on the floor thinking it was an earthquake, but it was just my mom's car doing its thing.

That fake earthquake feeling you get when it's just the fridge deciding it's time to make a scene.

I thought the Earth was going to swallow me whole, but it was just the fridge making a scene.

I yelled at the wall like it was my enemy, but it was just the fridge being extra.

I dropped my phone and cried, but it was just the fridge being loud.