EarthE

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A green, groovy prize for people who do eco-friendly stuff and don’t give a damn about the planet’s chances of surviving the 2020s.

My teacher gave me EarthE for recycling my lunch wrapper. I cried.

I got EarthE from my mom for not throwing my dog’s hair on the floor.

My crush called me EarthE for saving a tree from a bulldozer.

It’s mostly harmless, unless you’re a weirdo who thinks it’s a life choice.

My uncle said EarthE is mostly harmless. I told him I’d punch him if it started talking.

I took EarthE for granted until it turned into a giant taco.

My therapist said EarthE is mostly harmless. I’m still mad about that.

A giant planet-shaped psychiatric ward where bugs are the main patients and humans are just loud.

My psychiatrist said EarthE is a planet-shaped insane asylum. I asked if I could move to Mars.

I think EarthE is a psychiatric ward for ants.

My brother called EarthE a psychiatric ward for spiders and I laughed until I cried.

The universe’s favorite reality show, and humans are the worst contestants.

My mom said EarthE is God’s reality show. I told her I’d rather be on American Idol.

I think EarthE is like a reality show where humans are the most annoying people.

My crush said EarthE is God’s reality show. I asked him if I could be on it.

Walking on grass like it’s your job, and your feet are the main characters.

I did EarthE on the lawn and my feet felt like they were in heaven.

I did EarthE in my socks and my feet were mad.

My mom made me do EarthE and I fell asleep in the grass.

A planet that was fine until humans showed up and turned it into a giant dumpster fire.

EarthE used to be nice. Now it’s just a giant dumpster fire.

I think EarthE is a planet that got dumped on by humans.

My teacher said EarthE is a dumpster fire and I laughed until my teacher threw a marker at me.