earthbug

1 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

A person who thinks grass is better than a bed and would rather be eaten by a bear than watch TV

I’ve been sleeping in a tree for three days. My bed is now a raccoon’s snack bar.

I’d rather be chased by a wolf than sit through another Zoom call.

I tried to go to bed last night. The moon called me. I answered.

Someone who shits in the woods and blames the wind if they get caught

I pooped in the forest. The wind said nothing. I said nothing back. We had a silent war.

I went camping. I didn’t bring a tent. I brought a bag of chips and a bad decision.

I told my boss I’d be late. My boss said, ‘You’re not late. You’re just in the forest.’

A human who thinks trees are cool and would rather be lost than found

I got lost in the woods. I found a new best friend. His name is Steve. He’s a squirrel.

I didn’t bring a map. I brought a compass. I still got lost. The compass laughed at me.

I told my mom I’d be home by sunset. Now it’s midnight and I’m arguing with a bear.