earth sexual

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A weird obsession where you imagine the earth is a hot person and you try to make out with the ground like it's your ex

I tried to kiss the grass and it didn’t reciprocate

I yelled 'I love you' to a mountain and got yelled back at

I tried to have sex with a tree and it just sighed and fell over

When you think the planet is your lover and you try to shag it like it's a date night

I tried to make the ocean my girlfriend and it just gave me a wave goodbye

I tried to give the earth a back massage and it just shook me off

I tried to propose to a volcano and it erupted on my face

You're so into the planet that you try to f*** it like it's your best friend

I tried to give the earth a blowjob and it just rolled its eyes

I tried to have a fight with the sky and it just rained on me

I tried to make out with the ground and it just spat on me