earspasm

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2 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

when your ears get stabbed by someone yelling in your phone like they’re giving a speech to a crowd of screaming toddlers

My uncle called me and yelled about his cat for 20 minutes. My ears are still bleeding.

My mom texts me and shouts about her day like I’m at a concert.

My friend’s cousin called and screamed about his ex like he was in a fight with a dragon.

the agony you feel when someone talks so loud on the phone it’s like your ear is being kicked by a donkey

My boss called me and yelled about the coffee machine like it was a war crime.

My sister called and cried about her dog like she was in a horror movie.

My dad called and shouted about his lawn like he was competing in a national competition.

when your ear gets a facepalm from someone talking too loud on the phone like they’re trying to wake you up from a coma

My cousin called me and yelled about his video game like he was in a rage war.

My grandma called and screamed about her neighbor like she was in a shouting match with a rock band.

My brother called and shouted about his pizza like it was the most important thing in the universe.