Earlymothersday

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Earlymothersday is when you either cook your mom breakfast or buy her a stupid gift just to shut her up before she starts nagging you again.

I made my mom pancakes. She said I was being nice. I said I was doing it to save my life.

I bought my mom a necklace. It was a lie. She still thinks I’m a good kid.

My mom got a gift. I got a lecture. I wish I had a time machine.

Earlymothersday is a fake holiday where you try to impress your mom with something small so she doesn’t yell at you the rest of the week.

I gave my mom coffee. She said it was thoughtful. I said it was the only thing I could afford.

My mom got flowers. I got a warning. Flowers are better than a warning.

I tried to be nice. My mom tried to be annoying. We both lost.

Earlymothersday is when you either feed your mom or buy her a gift so she doesn’t turn your house into a war zone.

I made my mom toast. She didn’t thank me. She just stared at me like I owed her money.

I got my mom a watch. She said it was sweet. I said I was just trying to survive.

I gave my mom a gift. She gave me a lecture. I wish I had a gift for that.