Early to bed, early to rise

14 views · Added 2mo ago · 3 definitions

A stupid saying that tells you to go to sleep early so you can wake up early and get a stiffy before your coffee is even hot.

My dad says this every morning like it's some kind of magic spell.

I tried it once. My coffee was cold and my erection was weak. Big fail.

My mom says it just so she can check my homework before I get my morning boner.

Old man Ben Franklin’s way of telling you to go to bed so you can get up and get hard before your coffee hits you like a brick.

My grandpa says this every day like it's a sacred ritual.

I tried it. My coffee was hot, but my erection was late. I felt like a failure.

My neighbor does this so he can check his plants before he gets his morning hard-on.

A dumb phrase that means you should go to sleep early so you can wake up and get hard before your coffee even wakes up.

My teacher says this so we can all get hard before the bell rings.

I tried it. My coffee was awake, but my erection was still snoozing.

My brother says this so he can text his ex before he gets his morning hard-on.