Eardrum Rapist

My cousin played that 2005 pop song 50 times in a row. I’m still hearing it in my dreams.

He sent me a voice note of his mom singing ‘I Want It That Way’ at the top of her lungs. I cried.

My friend’s dog started barking the chorus of ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’ nonstop. It was a nightmare.

My neighbor blasted ‘Baby Shark’ through his speakers at 3 a. m. I threw a pillow at his window.

My mom played ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ on repeat while I was taking a test. I failed.

My teacher made us listen to ‘Despacito’ for an hour. I almost cried.

My brother played ‘Gangnam Style’ in my room for a whole weekend. I almost ran away.

My friend sent me a text that said, ‘I’m coming to your house and I brought my boombox.’ I hid under my bed.

My dad played ‘Macarena’ at my birthday party. I wish I was dead.

My sister turned my phone on ‘Blinding Lights’ at full volume. I almost lost my hearing.

My friend played ‘Uptown Funk’ in my head for a whole day. I screamed.

My teacher forced me to sing ‘Baby Shark’ in front of the class. I died a little inside.

My mom played ‘Gangnam Style’ in my room for a whole week. I went insane.

My brother sent me a voice note of his dog barking the chorus of ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling.’ I cried.

My teacher made us listen to ‘Despacito’ until the end of the school year. I almost left.

My friend played ‘Baby Shark’ in my head for 10 hours straight. I almost lost my mind.

My neighbor blasted ‘Uptown Funk’ through his speakers at 2 a. m. I threw a shoe at his window.

My teacher made me listen to ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ for an hour. I screamed.