Ear Warmers

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A woman’s legs that are so thick they could make a fat man jealous.

My girlfriend’s thighs are so big, I think they’re trying to start a war.

That woman walked in and my eyes almost popped out of my head.

I asked her if she had a twin, and she said, 'No, but I have a sister who’s just as fat.'

When you’re puffing on a cigarette and some jerk hands you another one, so you stick it in your ear like it’s a stupid habit.

I was smoking, and my buddy gave me another one, so I stuck it behind my ear like it was a stupid thing to do.

The guy behind me gave me a cigarette, and I stuck it in my ear like I had no life.

I was smoking, and some kid gave me a cigarette, so I stuck it in my ear like I was a fool.