ear rapping

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When someone forces their dumb words down your throat like they’re your mom and you’re a kid who still eats cereal for dinner.

My cousin tried to explain why he failed math and I had to pretend I wasn’t crying inside.

My boss told me I was doing a good job and I almost vomited.

My ex said I was ‘still cute’ and I wanted to punch her in the face.

When someone takes their junk and shoves it into your ear like it’s a subway car and you’re stuck on the 4 train for three hours.

My gym teacher did that to me during a pop quiz and I got a D.

My brother tried that during my birthday and I still hate him.

My dog did that to my ear and I cried like a baby.

The superpower of hearing every dumb thing people say and knowing you can just walk away and be cool about it.

I used my superpower when my friend told me he had a crush on my sister and I just smiled.

I used it when my mom said I was ‘doing great’ and I wanted to scream.

I used it when my crush asked me out and I just said ‘thanks’.