eapejage

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When you talk so much trash it sounds like a broken blender full of hot dogs and bad decisions.

'I’m gonna eat your whole face at lunch.'

'You’re gonna get destroyed by my cousin’s pet parakeet.'

'I could beat your grandma in a footrace and still have time to text my ex.'

A fancy way of saying you’re full of hot air and your lies are as flimsy as a toaster in a hurricane.

'I could run a marathon in my sleep and still beat your brother's math test.'

'Your dog is so ugly it could scare off a superhero.'

'I could eat your entire lunch and still have room for dessert.'

When you boast so much it’s like you’ve swallowed a loudspeaker and it’s screaming your name.

'I’m so good at video games I could teach your dad how to play.'

'You’re so bad at chess I could win with my eyes closed and a broken calculator.'

'I could beat your whole family in a dance-off and still have time to text my mom.'

When you talk so much trash it’s like you’re trying to fill a garbage truck with your ego.

'Your hair looks like a rat exploded in a paint can.'

'I could beat your whole squad in a trivia game and still have time to eat my lunch.'

'Your voice is so bad it could make a ghost cry.'

When you brag so much it’s like you’ve got a megaphone full of confetti and your whole life is a parade of lies.

'I could beat your brother in a spelling bee and still have time to text my crush.'

'Your face is so ugly it could scare off a dragon.'

'I could beat your mom in a cooking contest and still have room for seconds.'