ealy

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A girl so pretty she could make a bald man cry. She’s got style, sass, and a mouth that could talk a donkey into a divorce.

Ealy walks in the room and the whole school forgets how to breathe.

She told my dad he looked like a soggy taco and he cried.

Ealy’s got more class than my grandma’s closet.

A total skank who’d rather ride a dinosaur than sit with her own man. She’s a thief, a cheater, and a complete disaster.

She stole my man and then stole my lunch money.

Ealy said she’d date a T-Rex before she’d date me.

She’s the reason why my ex is now a vegan.

The cutest guy in the whole world. He’s perfect, and I’m in love so hard I might vomit.

I would die if he left me for another girl.

He’s better than pizza and I live for pizza.

He’s the reason my heart beats and my brain doesn’t.

A fag who plays Xbox and thinks he’s cool. He’s a total loser who’d rather play games than do anything else.

He plays Xbox so much he’s got calluses on his thumbs.

He tried to date my sister and she laughed in his face.

He’s like a meatball, but with less meat and more dumb.

A backstabbing, lying, ugly piece of trash who thinks she’s amazing but everyone else thinks she’s the worst.

She lied to my face and then laughed in my face.

She broke up my best friend and then took his lunch money.

She’s so crusty she could make a donkey cry.