EAL kid

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a brain-dead foreigner who can't speak English and probably doesn't know what a toilet is

My EAL kid asked if we had a 'bathroom for cows' in the school.

He tried to explain his homework by screaming in Indonesian and crying.

I told him to stop using the toilet as a ladder.

a human who thinks English is just a fancy version of their native language and uses it wrong all the time

She wrote 'I is going to the park' on her homework and called it art.

He told the teacher he was 'from the moon' because he didn't know where his country was.

He said 'I eated my dinner' and got detention.

a kid who thinks English is just a language you learn by shouting at the teacher until they give you an A

He yelled 'I AM THE KING OF ENGLISH' and got a B+

She screamed 'I DON'T KNOW WHAT A VERB IS' and the teacher gave her a C-

He threw a pencil at the board and said 'ENGLISH IS HARD'

a person who speaks English like it's a foreign language and then gets confused when people actually understand it

He said 'I am going to the store' and got confused when the store clerk understood him.

She asked 'What is a sandwich?' and the teacher said 'It’s bread with stuff in between.'

He tried to explain his life story in five words and it took three paragraphs.

a kid who thinks English is a sport and you have to win it with spelling and grammar

He said 'I spelled 'dog' wrong because it's not a real dog.'

He cried when he got a 'C' for not using capital letters.

He argued with the teacher about whether 'I' was a real word.

a human who thinks English is just a language you learn by whispering to the teacher and hoping they don’t notice

He whispered 'I am going to the park' and got a zero because he didn’t say it loud enough.

She whispered ‘I like apples’ and the teacher thought she was being rude.

He whispered 'I am not a robot' and the teacher gave him a D.