Eagle Factory

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A group of old-ass Boy Scouts who make Eagle Scouts like it’s their job and laugh at you when you fail.

My troop is an Eagle Factory. We make Eagles and you’re just the punchline.

They turned 12 kids into Eagles in a month. I got a participation trophy.

I tried to earn my Eagle. They just gave me a ticket to the principal’s office.

A troop so good at making Eagles they probably have a factory line with a conveyor belt of scouts getting their badge.

That troop is a factory. They churn out Eagles like it’s breakfast.

I walked into their meeting. They were like a factory line. One kid walked in, 10 minutes later he had a badge.

They gave me a badge and told me to go home. I was just the backup worker.

A troop so elite they make Eagle Scouts and then laugh at your badge like it’s a joke.

They made 15 Eagles last year. My badge was just a side dish.

I got my badge, but they called me ‘the intern’ and handed me a coffee.

They made me an Eagle. I got a badge. They called me ‘the experiment’.

A troop so good at being scouts they make Eagles and then make fun of you for trying.

They made 10 Eagles in one day. I got a badge and they made fun of me for it.

I tried to be an Eagle. They made me one, but just to mock me.

They made me an Eagle, but it was just a joke. They all laughed at me.

A troop so fast at making Eagles they probably have a robot doing the work and you’re just the punchline.

They made 20 Eagles in one week. I got a badge and a participation trophy.

They used a robot to make Eagles. I was just the backup scout.

The robot made Eagles. I got a badge. I was just the laugh.

A troop that makes so many Eagles they have a badge factory and you’re just the guy who got kicked out.

They have a badge factory. I got kicked out for not being good enough.

They made 100 Eagles. I got a badge and they said I was just the sidekick.

They turned 20 kids into Eagles. I got a badge and they said I was the experiment.